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Co-worker brings traditional family “meltdown” to office potluck
Adulthood Struggles / Drunk Mistakes / Food / Neighborhood News / Self Help / Women and Men

Co-worker brings traditional family “meltdown” to office potluck

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Something appeared a little off with a local office coordinator earlier today. Megan Grouse, 32, reportedly mistook her co-workers for various family members, fueled by apparent pent-up resentment for each. She also brought stuffing, made after her mother’s recipe. “OF COURSE IT’S NOT QUITE AS GOOD AS YOURS, MOTHER,” she snapped to her startled supervisor. … Continue reading →

4 Superfoods For Fall
Advice / Food / Health / In The News / Lists / Natural Phenomena

4 Superfoods For Fall

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If you’re sick of regular old fall non-super food, or have already scarfed down your weight in cookies and are in desperate need of some extraordinary nutritional value, here are our favorite superfoods that can help you survive the autumn season. Sweet potatoes These very sweet orange tubers don’t need sugar and marshmallows to be … Continue reading →

Community wondering if stranded ducklings are doing this on purpose
Babies / Cute Cute Cute / General Whining / In The News / Neighborhood News

Community wondering if stranded ducklings are doing this on purpose

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“So this was like the fourth sewer drain this week,” says local duckling rescuer (many times over) Anita Juarez. “And roof? How did they get onto a roof?” Disgruntled thoughts – shared by many citizens who are tired of getting ducklings out of and off of things around town. “Maybe we should just let them … Continue reading →

Man regrets drunken cock tattoo
Adulthood Struggles / Drunk Mistakes / Neighborhood News

Man regrets drunken cock tattoo

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“I’ve never felt connected to the attributes of my Chinese zodiac sign, the cock,” explains 32-year-old Harlan White. He just finished a weeklong bender in Van Nuys and came out with a rather permanent way to remember the otherwise fun vacation – a majestic red cock across his left shoulder. “Cocks are supposed to be … Continue reading →

San Francisco transforms into Gotham to fulfill boy’s wish, “We have an overwhelming number of volunteers wanting to be bad guys.”
In The News / Inspirational / Social Media

San Francisco transforms into Gotham to fulfill boy’s wish, “We have an overwhelming number of volunteers wanting to be bad guys.”

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In a heartwarming display of kindness, thousands of citizens will help to make 5-year-old Miles’ wish to be Batman come true by selflessly volunteering to be bad guys for today in San Francisco. “The inspiring story just hit me right in the feelings,” says Bobby Woodtrain, a tall, native San Franciscan who appears to really … Continue reading →

Annual Bathroom Stall Gap Committee confirms: “1-1/2 inches A-OK!”
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / Fears / General Whining / In The News / Politics / The Man

Annual Bathroom Stall Gap Committee confirms: “1-1/2 inches A-OK!”

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The small, elite group of Washington, D.C. officials who decide every year just how much space is appropriate for gaps between sections of bathroom stalls confirmed once again that everything is going, as one official put it, “super well.” “We’re very happy to confirm that the limits we’ve all been living with since the founding … Continue reading →

Guy who looks like Daniel Radcliffe happily accepts praise intended for Daniel Radcliffe
Celebrities / Neighborhood News

Guy who looks like Daniel Radcliffe happily accepts praise intended for Daniel Radcliffe

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Greg Cruz, a 27-year-old bank teller of Puerto Rican and Dutch descent, has been told by many people he looks like Daniel Radcliffe – including the strangers who mistake him for Daniel Radcliffe. Cruz recalls a typical interaction from earlier today. “A little girl came to my teller window with her mom, and said ‘I … Continue reading →

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A 90s Kid (Who Was Also A Monster)
90s / Adulthood Struggles / Celebrities / Fears / General Whining / Lists / Movies/TV

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A 90s Kid (Who Was Also A Monster)

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1. Missing the Recess gang. And that kid whose bed you lived under that looked like one of the Recess gang. (Mikey.) 2. Wishing you still had Lipsmackers lip gloss, which was the only thing that could classily dazzle up scaly green skin in middle school. 3. Collecting AOL free trial CDs in the mail … Continue reading →

USC Student Section Unites to Form Perfect Rorschach Designs During Football Game
Drunk Mistakes / Neighborhood News / Sports

USC Student Section Unites to Form Perfect Rorschach Designs During Football Game

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To everyone’s delight at each USC home football game, fans in the student section engage in intense teamwork to make giant artistic images out of colored tiles in the stadium. After this weekend’s spirited visual masterpiece, USC might want to consider changing its “Fight On” slogan to “&~`____*\”. “I know it might look easy, but … Continue reading →

8 Fresh Role Playing Scenarios You Probably Haven’t Tried Yet
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Get More Sex / Lists

8 Fresh Role Playing Scenarios You Probably Haven’t Tried Yet

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Millions of readers have been begging for alternatives to the tired old Nurse-Patient dynamic (yawn!), and we have heard your freaky plea. After a little bit of brainstorming, here are eight real life-inspired roles complete with helpful dialogue suggestions to get you into character on your spicy nighttime funtivities. 1) Dermatologist and Patient Suggested Dialogue: … Continue reading →