EVERYWHERE, U.S.– A new study published Friday found that Trump supporters require increasingly extreme rhetoric over time in order to get off. Reaching back as far as 2011, the study closely examined how Trump supporters– once adequately satisfied with controversial (racist) statements questioning President Barack Obama’s citizenship in the United States– have habitually needed more … Continue reading
Category Archives: Health
How To Make The Most Of Your Time Alone With Your Uterus Before Kavanaugh’s Confirmation
Kamala is doing her best and public opinion isn’t currently glowing, but the political pressure on Republicans and legislatively hilariously easy path for Brett Kavanaugh makes his placement on the Supreme Court currently seem inevitable. So here are some fun date ideas to make the most of your remaining alone time with your uterus! Have … Continue reading
Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists
WASHINGTON, D.C. – At the First Annual Subnormal Temperature Hands Convention in the nation’s capital this month, organizers were surprised to discover that they also had an accidental OB/gyn convention on their cold, cold hands. The 693 speakers and attendees, enjoying panels and workshops such as “Discreet Blankets For Public Use,” “Wearing Mittens To Bed: … Continue reading
7 Grossest Seahorse Pregnancy Secrets No One Will Tell You
Most of us like to think seahorse pregnancy is all beautiful mating dance rituals and a quick 9 to 45 days of blissful gestation, but believe us, there are a lot of disgusting truths that nobody’s talking about… until now. 1) Seahorse dads have a “brood pouch” that carries the young and it’s actually just modified … Continue reading
This Woman Can Only Orgasm To New Info About Gilmore Girls Revival
PASADENA, CA – The upcoming Gilmore Girls Netflix revival has aroused excitement in hordes of internet fans, but for one woman the arousal is literal – and not as fun as it sounds. “It’s ruined my life, honestly, and I’m sick of hiding it,” Tasha Perkins, 41, revealed about her newfound affliction. “I can only, … Continue reading
Every Local News Broadcast Ever [Sketch]
We noticed local news gets kind of… repetitive. Continue reading
Spiritual Woman Empowered By The Thought “When I die, I hope I come back as a corporation.”
Local grocery store chain company employee Olivia Dewris reported Monday that she felt “considerably uplifted” by the idea of being reborn as a corporation in the next life, “if I’m lucky.” Dewris had been daydreaming about the concept of reincarnation when she began to fantasize about the possibilities. “I started thinking about what could possibly … Continue reading
20 Incredible Uses for Apple Cider Vinegar
Bet you didn’t know apple cider vinegar was so handy! Did you know a little apple cider vinegar a day can prevent home invasions? Use apple cider vinegar to disband your musical improv theater group. Apple cider vinegar helps reduce/prevent forest fires and violent crime. It helps to regulate small business owners. It helps relieve … Continue reading
Friend “really embarrassed” about sex injury
After hearing the story six times since this weekend of how one very anonymous local woman strained a hip joint during “awesome” sex, friends are now aware that Alexa* [name changed] is in a lot of awesome-sex-related pain. “My name is Jess. Jess Fumero. Tell them my name,” the distressed young woman said early today … Continue reading
Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ask Your Doctor Today!
Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ask Your Doctor Today! – watch more funny videos Introducing LeahAndLia’s first sketch! Funny or Die gave everyone some sweet Jean-Claude Van Damme footage and let us do whatever we wanted with it. Special thanks to Tim Herrold, Laird Fryer, Karin Lee and Jeff Picarello Continue reading