Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / Health / Natural Phenomena / The Man / Women and Men

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists

WASHINGTON, D.C. – At the First Annual Subnormal Temperature Hands Convention in the nation’s capital this month, organizers were surprised to discover that they also had an accidental OB/gyn convention on their cold, cold hands. The 693 speakers and attendees, enjoying panels and workshops such as “Discreet Blankets For Public Use,” “Wearing Mittens To Bed: … Continue reading

American More Concerned How “Brexit” Affects Hogwarts
Business News / Fears / In The News / Movies/TV / Politics

American More Concerned How “Brexit” Affects Hogwarts

WILMINGTON, NC – Forty-year-old American citizen and small business manager, Eric Smith, was sifting through online article after online article for any news on how “Brexit” might affect Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding community across the pond. “I keep hearing about the Brexit and how disastrous it is for lots of U.K. industries … Continue reading

Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%
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Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%

WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House officials scrambled for answers this morning when news broke that the nation’s unemployment rate for Andrew Garfields has skyrocketed in recent months – to approximately 100%. “He’s so talented, he’s brilliant. There’s no reason. How did we let this happen?” A spokesperson for Garfield said in a live press conference … Continue reading

Obama Announces Hollywood Will Run On Renewable Blond Chris-es by 2022
Business News / Celebrities / Cute Cute Cute / In The News / Movies/TV / Politics

Obama Announces Hollywood Will Run On Renewable Blond Chris-es by 2022

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In good news for fans of sustainability and bad news for anyone already having trouble keeping track of Hollywood’s white Chris population, President Obama announced Thursday that the future of renewable Chris-es is looking bright – and very blond. “Recent advances have been astounding, but I know we can do better,” the … Continue reading

Interns Excited To Learn As They Perform Duties Of Company’s Assistants, Janitors, CEO
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / In The News / The Man

Interns Excited To Learn As They Perform Duties Of Company’s Assistants, Janitors, CEO

A midsize Los Angeles production company announced Tuesday that they are “expanding unpaid interns’ roles to increase their opportunities to learn,” according to their PR department, currently consisting of one intern. Most seem to enjoy the new arrangement. “I wasn’t sure how to feel when I started cleaning the bathrooms, but acting as CEO two … Continue reading