Business News / Celebrities / Cute Cute Cute / In The News / Movies/TV / Politics

Obama Announces Hollywood Will Run On Renewable Blond Chris-es by 2022

Obama ChrisesWASHINGTON, D.C. – In good news for fans of sustainability and bad news for anyone already having trouble keeping track of Hollywood’s white Chris population, President Obama announced Thursday that the future of renewable Chris-es is looking bright – and very blond.

“Recent advances have been astounding, but I know we can do better,” the president explained to the press. “A few short years from now, each of our Ryans, our Idrises, and our Jennifers will be replaced with a cheap, renewable, environmentally friendly Chris.”

Current actor production is criticized for its waste, greenhouse emissions, and destruction of the global bee population. Advocates of running Hollywood completely on Chris-es admit that it may make things a little bland, but the benefits greatly outweigh the monotony.

Artist’s rendering of Game Of Thrones in 2022, under the current plan:

game-of-thrones-03.png

Skeptics question whether a blond, white Chris can carry the future of productions like Black-ish, Broad City, or My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but the chief architect of Obama’s 2022 plans isn’t worried. “I have three words for you: Jungle Book 2. You’ll be convinced, just wait and see,” he winked in an interview. “Or my name isn’t Chris.”   

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s