Maybe you think these fall gourds are weird looking, but I promise you wouldn’t think that if HBO would cast a wider variety of topless women. 1 Even these normal-looking little pumpkins probably make you feel a little weird when I say they look like my breasts – why? Is that the world we really want … Continue reading
LOS ANGELES, CA – Local white woman Sadie Andreyevsky reported to authorities this morning that she felt “flustered, broken, and confused” – because of her favorite rice, vanilla, and cinnamon drink. “I know I’m doing it wrong,” she announced to a silent press conference, visibly welling with emotion. “But I can’t stop. I think … Continue reading
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a turn of events yesterday evening, Melissa finally showed up at 7:24 with breathless reports of “traffic, like, everywhere.” “I think the rest of us saw the traffic coming, given that it was dinner and dinner typically happens right at the end of rush hour,” explained one witness, a friend … Continue reading
Please look at Ted Cruz. Continue reading
Human interaction, sunsets, and everything you’ve fought so hard for has failed to make you happy. Why not give one of these great brunch spots a shot? Annabelle’s If you’re lacking a sense of purpose, see if you’ll find it in the famous French toast at Annabelle’s. Spring for their indulgent extra toppings, since you’re … Continue reading
Appetizing photos of food, a.k.a “food porn,” was once exclusively created by professionals with fancy cameras and lighting and sets and budgets. Then everything changed. Ever since the camera phone made a big splash onto the scene, the public has taken the food porn power into its own buttery hands. With the holidays upon us, … Continue reading
Bet you didn’t know apple cider vinegar was so handy! Did you know a little apple cider vinegar a day can prevent home invasions? Use apple cider vinegar to disband your musical improv theater group. Apple cider vinegar helps reduce/prevent forest fires and violent crime. It helps to regulate small business owners. It helps relieve … Continue reading
