Get Juicier Booty by Resting Ten Minutes Before Serving
Advice / Food / Get More Sex / Health / science / Self Help / Women and Men

Get Juicier Booty by Resting Ten Minutes Before Serving

Experts have found that a simple trick will improve the taste and texture of your booty the next time you serve your guests (or just yourself!). Rest your booty for ten minutes before serving, or all of the care and effort you put into preparation may result in a booty that’s tougher and chewier than … Continue reading

10 Decorative Fall Gourds That Look More Like My Boobs Than Anything On HBO
Food / Movies/TV / Natural Phenomena / OPINION / Pictures / The Man / Women and Men

10 Decorative Fall Gourds That Look More Like My Boobs Than Anything On HBO

Maybe you think these fall gourds are weird looking, but I promise you wouldn’t think that if HBO would cast a wider variety of topless women. 1 Even these normal-looking little pumpkins probably make you feel a little weird when I say they look like my breasts – why? Is that the world we really want … Continue reading

Local Woman Over-Pronouncing Horchata
Adulthood Struggles / Fears / Food / Neighborhood News

Local Woman Over-Pronouncing Horchata

LOS ANGELES, CA – Local white woman Sadie Andreyevsky reported to authorities this morning that she felt “flustered, broken, and confused” – because of her favorite rice, vanilla, and cinnamon drink.   “I know I’m doing it wrong,” she announced to a silent press conference, visibly welling with emotion. “But I can’t stop. I think … Continue reading

Friend Late To Meal Surprised About Traffic
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Food / General Whining / Natural Phenomena / Neighborhood News / Self Help

Friend Late To Meal Surprised About Traffic

LOS ANGELES, CA – In a turn of events yesterday evening, Melissa finally showed up at 7:24 with breathless reports of “traffic, like, everywhere.” “I think the rest of us saw the traffic coming, given that it was dinner and dinner typically happens right at the end of rush hour,” explained one witness, a friend … Continue reading

5 LA Brunch Spots Almost Good Enough To Give Life Some Meaning
Adulthood Struggles / Food / Lists / Neighborhood News

5 LA Brunch Spots Almost Good Enough To Give Life Some Meaning

Human interaction, sunsets, and everything you’ve fought so hard for has failed to make you happy. Why not give one of these great brunch spots a shot? Annabelle’s If you’re lacking a sense of purpose, see if you’ll find it in the famous French toast at Annabelle’s. Spring for their indulgent extra toppings, since you’re … Continue reading

20 Incredible Uses for Apple Cider Vinegar
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Food / Health / Self Help

20 Incredible Uses for Apple Cider Vinegar

Bet you didn’t know apple cider vinegar was so handy! Did you know a little apple cider vinegar a day can prevent home invasions? Use apple cider vinegar to disband your musical improv theater group. Apple cider vinegar helps reduce/prevent forest fires and violent crime. It helps to regulate small business owners. It helps relieve … Continue reading

USA Dominates Inaugural Pears Skating Competition
Food / In The News / Sports

USA Dominates Inaugural Pears Skating Competition

The inaugural Pears Skating competition made its successful debut at the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi with the United States’ Justin Pearson and Anna McPeary stealing the show in a gold medal victory. Pearson and McPeary executed a flawless, energetic performance to Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti,” which secured a first place slot for the duo. … Continue reading

Buffalo Wild Wings announces rigorous new standards for Guest Experience Captains
Business News / Food / In The News

Buffalo Wild Wings announces rigorous new standards for Guest Experience Captains

Disappointed with previous fun-ness of reported guest experiences, company CEO Charles Wild Wings has announced the Guest Experience Captain position will no longer be something “unfun people can just waltz into.” “When I’m watching a football game on one of our dozens of fine TVs, and a girl with a microphone is encouraging me to … Continue reading