Bet you didn’t know apple cider vinegar was so handy!

1. Did you know a little apple cider vinegar a day can prevent home invasions?
2. Use apple cider vinegar to disband your musical improv theater group.
3. Apple cider vinegar helps reduce/prevent forest fires and violent crime.
4. It helps to regulate small business owners.
5. It helps relieve sexual tension around the office.
6. Believe it or not, apple cider vinegar helps relieve disaster zones in foreign countries.
7. Studies suggest that half a bottle of the stuff can help with the persistent, stabbing pangs in your heart ever since Helen left.
8. Reach for some apple cider vinegar whenever you want to lower terror threat levels for the next Olympics.
9. It helps relieve the queen of her duties, if only for a fleeting moment.
10. It has been known to help slowly break down stupid, perfect Ronda from the dance team’s confidence.
11. Improves speed, agility, and the ability to elude the authorities once again.
12. A double blind test conducted at Harvard University indicated that apple cider vinegar can relieve pressure from your significant other to go all the way after prom.
13. It can lower your parents’ expectations!
14. It lowers cholesterol.
15. In some cases it can kill your enemies, or at least slow their growth.
16. Have you ever heard that apple cider vinegar reduces risk of teen pregnancy?
17. Apple cider vinegar reliably gets rid of traffic buildup on the 405.
18. Just two tablespoons can help you answer the question “How many tennis balls can you fit into a limousine?” at a job interview.
19. Helps to explain to your son or daughter why all things must die someday.
20. Apple cider vinegar has been proven to help you sleep at night, in spite of what you’ve done.