Modern understanding of gender and sexuality has led to so many exciting discussions and nuances. Since more people now realize that gender is a Spectrum, if you act now you can bundle a home telephone line with your identity. Since gender is separate from sexuality, this does not preclude you from getting lightning fast internet and exciting cable packages with Verizon Fios.

If you, like a growing number of Americans who consider defining gender at all to be a restrictive concept, choose to cancel with Spectrum, please understand that the full weight of Spectrum’s labyrinthine, hostilely-designed customer service department will be used against you.