Modern understanding of gender and sexuality has led to so many exciting discussions and nuances. Since more people now realize that gender is a Spectrum, if you act now you can bundle a home telephone line with your identity. Since gender is separate from sexuality, this does not preclude you from getting lightning fast internet … Continue reading
Category Archives: Natural Phenomena
10 Decorative Fall Gourds That Look More Like My Boobs Than Anything On HBO
Maybe you think these fall gourds are weird looking, but I promise you wouldn’t think that if HBO would cast a wider variety of topless women. 1 Even these normal-looking little pumpkins probably make you feel a little weird when I say they look like my breasts – why? Is that the world we really want … Continue reading
SHOCKER: Minutes Before Debate, Trump Reveals Himself To Be Cthulhu, Lord Of Destruction And Evil
ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s unclear how the polls and audience opinion will be affected since Trump revealed himself to be Cthulhu, supreme lord of destruction, chaos, and evil, just before the debate Sunday night. “I still just don’t trust Hillary,” one voter explained, as Trump/Cthulhu murdered a newborn baby in ritual sacrifice to ancient … Continue reading
Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists
WASHINGTON, D.C. – At the First Annual Subnormal Temperature Hands Convention in the nation’s capital this month, organizers were surprised to discover that they also had an accidental OB/gyn convention on their cold, cold hands. The 693 speakers and attendees, enjoying panels and workshops such as “Discreet Blankets For Public Use,” “Wearing Mittens To Bed: … Continue reading
7 Grossest Seahorse Pregnancy Secrets No One Will Tell You
Most of us like to think seahorse pregnancy is all beautiful mating dance rituals and a quick 9 to 45 days of blissful gestation, but believe us, there are a lot of disgusting truths that nobody’s talking about… until now. 1) Seahorse dads have a “brood pouch” that carries the young and it’s actually just modified … Continue reading
This Woman Can Only Orgasm To New Info About Gilmore Girls Revival
PASADENA, CA – The upcoming Gilmore Girls Netflix revival has aroused excitement in hordes of internet fans, but for one woman the arousal is literal – and not as fun as it sounds. “It’s ruined my life, honestly, and I’m sick of hiding it,” Tasha Perkins, 41, revealed about her newfound affliction. “I can only, … Continue reading
Friend Late To Meal Surprised About Traffic
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a turn of events yesterday evening, Melissa finally showed up at 7:24 with breathless reports of “traffic, like, everywhere.” “I think the rest of us saw the traffic coming, given that it was dinner and dinner typically happens right at the end of rush hour,” explained one witness, a friend … Continue reading
Every Local News Broadcast Ever [Sketch]
We noticed local news gets kind of… repetitive. Continue reading
Dog reunited with family after 700-mile trek not getting the hint, says family
“He was always such a clingy dog,” says Linda Herman, whose family feels they gave their dog Marty “clear signs” they were interested in pursuing other dogs. “We tried everything else, at first. Pretending we didn’t see Marty when we ran into him around the house, ‘forgetting’ to tell him when we went to the … Continue reading
4 Superfoods For Fall
If you’re sick of regular old fall non-super food, or have already scarfed down your weight in cookies and are in desperate need of some extraordinary nutritional value, here are our favorite superfoods that can help you survive the autumn season. Sweet potatoes These very sweet orange tubers don’t need sugar and marshmallows to be … Continue reading