ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s unclear how the polls and audience opinion will be affected since Trump revealed himself to be Cthulhu, supreme lord of destruction, chaos, and evil, just before the debate Sunday night.
“I still just don’t trust Hillary,” one voter explained, as Trump/Cthulhu murdered a newborn baby in ritual sacrifice to ancient evil forces onstage at the debate at Washington University in St. Louis. “Those emails! Right?”
Some of Trump’s residual supporters are unmoved by the revelation. “How many politicians are secretly gods of violence and hate? At least he’s open about it,” one longtime Trump supporter tweeted. “I don’t know any man who hasn’t privately worshiped a god of darkness at one time or another.”
“He’s saying what we’re all thinking,” Another Trump supporter told ABC news Sunday night. “And in my head, my voice comes through mouth tentacles as I speak.”
Trump, when questioned about whether it’s inappropriate for a presidential candidate to rule over the dark forces of our universe, commented that “I have huge face tentacles, the best tentacles, and check Hillary’s emails. People are telling me there’s evidence she’s an evil sorceress. Is it true? You tell me. But she’s pretty much a witch goddess who eats newborn babies.”
Many polls are now showing Hillary in the lead over Trump/Cthulhu, but there’s a whole month of this left so who the hell knows.