Get Juicier Booty by Resting Ten Minutes Before Serving
Advice / Food / Get More Sex / Health / science / Self Help / Women and Men

Get Juicier Booty by Resting Ten Minutes Before Serving

Experts have found that a simple trick will improve the taste and texture of your booty the next time you serve your guests (or just yourself!). Rest your booty for ten minutes before serving, or all of the care and effort you put into preparation may result in a booty that’s tougher and chewier than … Continue reading

Gender is a Spectrum, and Sexuality is a Verizon Fios
Get More Sex / Health / Inspirational / Natural Phenomena / Politics / science / Self Help / Women and Men

Gender is a Spectrum, and Sexuality is a Verizon Fios

Modern understanding of gender and sexuality has led to so many exciting discussions and nuances. Since more people now realize that gender is a Spectrum, if you act now you can bundle a home telephone line with your identity. Since gender is separate from sexuality, this does not preclude you from getting lightning fast internet … Continue reading

OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out
Celebrities / In The News / OPINION / Politics / The Man

OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out

NEW YORK– Last Sunday night Louis C.K. surprised the audience at the Comedy Cellar with a 15 minute set (which honestly doesn’t sound THAT long, or at least not as long as other guys I’ve heard stories about, and certainly no longer than any one of us has done) suggesting his return to comedy, and … Continue reading

Our web series – DOIN’ IT – is now streaming!
Adulthood Struggles / Celebrities / Feats Of Musical Genius / Neighborhood News / Self Help / Videos / Women and Men

Our web series – DOIN’ IT – is now streaming!

Check out our trailer for DOIN’ IT, about trying to make it in Hollywood up from the bottom and — well, mostly staying there. Catch all 13 episodes of our web series here! DOIN’ IT is about two best friends who follow a piece of advice each episode about making it in showbiz, usually to … Continue reading

29-Year-Old Still Working High School Test Scores Into Everyday Conversations
Adulthood Struggles / Inspirational / Neighborhood News

29-Year-Old Still Working High School Test Scores Into Everyday Conversations

LOS ANGELES, CA – Local 29-year-old office coordinator Maisy Azoff has accomplished “plenty” at this point in her career, but still can’t get enough of the “oohs” and “aahs” she hears when she brings up her high school test scores. “When you get a 32 on the ACT, it’s ALWAYS relevant!” Azoff proclaims in a … Continue reading

SHOCKER: Minutes Before Debate, Trump Reveals Himself To Be Cthulhu, Lord Of Destruction And Evil
Natural Phenomena / Politics

SHOCKER: Minutes Before Debate, Trump Reveals Himself To Be Cthulhu, Lord Of Destruction And Evil

ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s unclear how the polls and audience opinion will be affected since Trump revealed himself to be Cthulhu, supreme lord of destruction, chaos, and evil, just before the debate Sunday night. “I still just don’t trust Hillary,” one voter explained, as Trump/Cthulhu murdered a newborn baby in ritual sacrifice to ancient … Continue reading

White Supremacist Beginning To Think Tyler Not Supreme
Adulthood Struggles / Fears / Neighborhood News / Politics

White Supremacist Beginning To Think Tyler Not Supreme

ST. LOUIS, MO – Prominent white supremacist Dan Donelan, whose faith in the superiority of white people shapes every facet of his life and behavior, may be reconsidering his beliefs based on local white teen Tyler – who is seemingly not growing up to be “supreme.” “We like to give ‘em a few years to … Continue reading

CHILDHOOD RUINED: Olsens’ “It Takes Two” To Be Rebooted With All-Female Cast
90s / Celebrities / In The News / Movies/TV / Social Media / Women and Men

CHILDHOOD RUINED: Olsens’ “It Takes Two” To Be Rebooted With All-Female Cast

Written by Leah Folta & Lia Woodward The internet is in an uproar after this morning’s announcement that Warner Bros. greenlit an all-female reboot of beloved childhood Olsen twins favorite It Takes Two – re-ruining childhoods already devastated by the recent Ghostbusters movie. Much of the outrage centers around the idea that two memorable roles … Continue reading

Time Traveler Who Planned Better Has Plenty Of Time To Explain
Adulthood Struggles / Neighborhood News / Tech News

Time Traveler Who Planned Better Has Plenty Of Time To Explain

ARCADIA, CA — A local teen struggling to make decisions about her future on Friday afternoon was visited by herself from the year 2028 and was pleased to find that she had plenty of time to acclimate to the situation. (As a minor, she remains anonymous.) “I wish the media would stop and think for … Continue reading

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / Health / Natural Phenomena / The Man / Women and Men

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists

WASHINGTON, D.C. – At the First Annual Subnormal Temperature Hands Convention in the nation’s capital this month, organizers were surprised to discover that they also had an accidental OB/gyn convention on their cold, cold hands. The 693 speakers and attendees, enjoying panels and workshops such as “Discreet Blankets For Public Use,” “Wearing Mittens To Bed: … Continue reading