ARCADIA, CA — A local teen struggling to make decisions about her future on Friday afternoon was visited by herself from the year 2028 and was pleased to find that she had plenty of time to acclimate to the situation. (As a minor, she remains anonymous.) “I wish the media would stop and think for … Continue reading
After planning a brave takedown of Emma Watson’s feminazi propaganda about freeing men from their own gender stereotypes, certain members of 4chan’s /b/ board announced they’re targeting Dave’s mom next. “Women cry about unfair treatment, when Dave literally has to take out the trash?? Because his mom said so?”* posted one anonymous user about the … Continue reading
“This is who I am now,” Karen Hill from Encino tearfully announced to her family at a small press conference this morning. “And I am so, so grateful to everyone who’s accepted me as I always have been inside.” Ms. Hill, a first-time Buzzfeed test-taker, says she’s never seen Full House and is not sure … Continue reading
“We believe in fostering customer loyalty,” said Apple CEO Timothy Cook in a press release this morning. “And we think this new update will help our customers become loyal to the iPhone 5s.” The Mallet and Garbage Bag update for iPhone 4 users is being touted as the overdue evolution of the 4, released in … Continue reading
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