Donald Trump’s approval rating is currently at a new low, 33%, but many Americans are baffled that that number is so high. Well, as one of the 24% of Americans who still approved of President Nixon after a 14-month investigation and his subsequent synonymity with the idea of a lying, crooked politician, I am here … Continue reading
Category Archives: In The News
12 Things You May Have Missed In This Week’s Game Of Thrones
Written by Leah Folta & Lia Woodward [SPOILERS for those who haven’t seen this week’s “Eastwatch”!] After last week’s explosive episode, this week’s “Eastwatch” relaxes into some less-literally-fiery political turns and groundwork-laying for the end of the short season. But we don’t need to tell YOU that, eagle-eyed viewers! This week’s installment was also packed … Continue reading
Scientific Community: “Love already 90% dead due to human activity.”
HOLLYWOOD, California – Years of speculation and debate officially came to an end Monday as the scientific community announced it had reached a consensus: Love is already 90% dead, indisputably due to human activity. Experts were aware Love had been dying with increasing speed over the last decade, but the idea that humans, especially famous … Continue reading
Mitch McConnell Emerges From Shell With Massive Cut To Medicaid, Tax Cut For Rich
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After weeks of writing the much-anticipated Senate version of the House’s recent health care bill alone in his shell, McConnell’s work has been met with an uproar. “It was very hard to reach him. The bottom part of his shell folds up slightly to create a seal with the top part,” Rep. … Continue reading
Members Of Gender That Comprises 80% Of Federal Lawmakers Protest For Equality In Movie Screenings
INTERNET, USA — “This is America. I was told I can be anything when I grow up, and doesn’t ‘anything’ include an attendee at select screenings of Wonder Woman in one city in Texas?” tweeted activist Ben Reely (@womenaretheoppressive-gender) Thursday morning. He’s one of nearly dozens of protesters voicing their grievances about what he calls … Continue reading
Do not let Trump Distract You With New ‘Pirates of The Caribbean’ Hottie Brenton Thwaites
It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the headlines coming out of Washington at increasingly dizzying speeds thanks to President Trump’s apparent talent for media distraction, so you’ll be forgiven if you’ve fallen for his latest and most brilliant attention trap, ‘Pirates of The Caribbean 5’ Australian cutie Brenton Thwaites. As admittedly satisfying … Continue reading
5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season
Instead of living through the last couple weeks of garbage smell in verbal form that all of our news feeds have become, try pretending that you are, instead, a graceful creature of the sky. Your news is birdsong and your desk is the trees. Your friends are birds too and your conversation is more birdsong. You … Continue reading