Climate Crisis: It Still Way Too Hot For Pumpkin Spice Lattes
In The News / Politics / science

Climate Crisis: It Still Way Too Hot For Pumpkin Spice Lattes

The worsening climate crisis has yielded yet another unexpected consequence – the Pumpkin Spice Latte is back but it is way too hot for that. More than 50 million Americans now live in areas where enjoying Pumpkin Spice Lattes in September is simply impossible and nothing short of a death wish. What once was a … Continue reading

Mom Would Have Preferred Beto O’Rourke Not Said F Word
In The News / Neighborhood News / Politics

Mom Would Have Preferred Beto O’Rourke Not Said F Word

EL PASO, TEXAS– After Democrat Beto O’Rourke passionately told supporters in his concession speech that he was “so  f—ing proud of you guys” for what they accomplished in the ultimately unsuccessful but admirably fought battle against incumbent Senator Ted Cruz, local mom Judy Veranda voiced her mild disapproval of Beto’s use of the F word. … Continue reading

Trump Supporters Need Increasingly Extreme Rhetoric In Order to Get Off, Study Finds
Health / In The News / Politics

Trump Supporters Need Increasingly Extreme Rhetoric In Order to Get Off, Study Finds

EVERYWHERE, U.S.– A new study published Friday found that Trump supporters require increasingly extreme rhetoric over time in order to get off. Reaching back as far as 2011, the study closely examined how Trump supporters– once adequately satisfied with controversial (racist) statements questioning President Barack Obama’s citizenship in the United States– have habitually needed more … Continue reading

Man’s Life Officially Ruined
General Whining / In The News / Politics

Man’s Life Officially Ruined

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s life was officially ruined in a private ceremony Saturday with his family, the president, key politicians, and the other 8 sitting supreme court justices in attendance. President Donald Trump bemoaned Kavanaugh’s ruined life to those present for the occasion before Chief Justice John Roberts and former Justice Anthony Kennedy … Continue reading

Senator Collins: “We MUST listen to women before we tell them it doesn’t matter.”
In The News / Inspirational / Politics

Senator Collins: “We MUST listen to women before we tell them it doesn’t matter.”

WASHINGTON D.C. – Senator Collins heroically addressed the Senate Friday to announce her intention to vote YES on Judge Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court, emphasizing that “we must listen to women before we tell them it doesn’t matter.” In her passionate statement, Senator Collins bravely insisted, “we have to acknowledge the Me Too movement … Continue reading

Ferris Bueller Spent Day Home Sick According to High School Calendar
80s / Celebrities / In The News / Movies/TV / Politics

Ferris Bueller Spent Day Home Sick According to High School Calendar

CHICAGO, IL – Ferris Bueller doubled down Tuesday in a public statement that he spent the entire school day in question at home, sick and in bed after providing calendars from his time in high school in the 80s that make no mention of being anywhere other than his room that day. “I have never … Continue reading

OPINION: I’m Writing In to Denounce The NYT Op-Ed Anomous…Anomously
In The News / OPINION / Politics

OPINION: I’m Writing In to Denounce The NYT Op-Ed Anomous…Anomously

By now we’ve all seen– you’ve all seen it, haven’t you, the Op-ed? Yes. You’ve all seen it in the Failing New York Times. The Op-Ed was of course anomous…anomousss,  but listen folks, two can play that game! So I’m writing in to say what gutless, disgusting–they are gutless to do this against the great … Continue reading

How To Make The Most Of Your Time Alone With Your Uterus Before Kavanaugh’s Confirmation
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Babies / Health / In The News / Lists / Politics / The Man / Women and Men

How To Make The Most Of Your Time Alone With Your Uterus Before Kavanaugh’s Confirmation

Kamala is doing her best and public opinion isn’t currently glowing, but the political pressure on Republicans and legislatively hilariously easy path for Brett Kavanaugh makes his placement on the Supreme Court currently seem inevitable. So here are some fun date ideas to make the most of your remaining alone time with your uterus! Have … Continue reading

OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out
Celebrities / In The News / OPINION / Politics / The Man

OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out

NEW YORK– Last Sunday night Louis C.K. surprised the audience at the Comedy Cellar with a 15 minute set (which honestly doesn’t sound THAT long, or at least not as long as other guys I’ve heard stories about, and certainly no longer than any one of us has done) suggesting his return to comedy, and … Continue reading

OPINION: I Was One Of 24% Of Americans Who Approved Of Nixon As He Resigned
Advice / In The News / OPINION / Politics / The Man

OPINION: I Was One Of 24% Of Americans Who Approved Of Nixon As He Resigned

Donald Trump’s approval rating is currently at a new low, 33%, but many Americans are baffled that that number is so high. Well, as one of the 24% of Americans who still approved of President Nixon after a 14-month investigation and his subsequent synonymity with the idea of a lying, crooked politician, I am here … Continue reading