How To Make The Most Of Your Time Alone With Your Uterus Before Kavanaugh’s Confirmation
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Babies / Health / In The News / Lists / Politics / The Man / Women and Men

How To Make The Most Of Your Time Alone With Your Uterus Before Kavanaugh’s Confirmation

Kamala is doing her best and public opinion isn’t currently glowing, but the political pressure on Republicans and legislatively hilariously easy path for Brett Kavanaugh makes his placement on the Supreme Court currently seem inevitable. So here are some fun date ideas to make the most of your remaining alone time with your uterus! Have … Continue reading

OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out
Celebrities / In The News / OPINION / Politics / The Man

OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out

NEW YORK– Last Sunday night Louis C.K. surprised the audience at the Comedy Cellar with a 15 minute set (which honestly doesn’t sound THAT long, or at least not as long as other guys I’ve heard stories about, and certainly no longer than any one of us has done) suggesting his return to comedy, and … Continue reading

OPINION: I Was One Of 24% Of Americans Who Approved Of Nixon As He Resigned
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OPINION: I Was One Of 24% Of Americans Who Approved Of Nixon As He Resigned

Donald Trump’s approval rating is currently at a new low, 33%, but many Americans are baffled that that number is so high. Well, as one of the 24% of Americans who still approved of President Nixon after a 14-month investigation and his subsequent synonymity with the idea of a lying, crooked politician, I am here … Continue reading

Mitch McConnell Emerges From Shell With Massive Cut To Medicaid, Tax Cut For Rich
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Mitch McConnell Emerges From Shell With Massive Cut To Medicaid, Tax Cut For Rich

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After weeks of writing the much-anticipated Senate version of the House’s recent health care bill alone in his shell, McConnell’s work has been met with an uproar. “It was very hard to reach him. The bottom part of his shell folds up slightly to create a seal with the top part,” Rep. … Continue reading

Members Of Gender That Comprises 80% Of Federal Lawmakers Protest For Equality In Movie Screenings
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Members Of Gender That Comprises 80% Of Federal Lawmakers Protest For Equality In Movie Screenings

INTERNET, USA — “This is America. I was told I can be anything when I grow up, and doesn’t ‘anything’ include an attendee at select screenings of Wonder Woman in one city in Texas?” tweeted activist Ben Reely (@womenaretheoppressive-gender) Thursday morning. He’s one of nearly dozens of protesters voicing their grievances about what he calls … Continue reading

10 Decorative Fall Gourds That Look More Like My Boobs Than Anything On HBO
Food / Movies/TV / Natural Phenomena / OPINION / Pictures / The Man / Women and Men

10 Decorative Fall Gourds That Look More Like My Boobs Than Anything On HBO

Maybe you think these fall gourds are weird looking, but I promise you wouldn’t think that if HBO would cast a wider variety of topless women. 1 Even these normal-looking little pumpkins probably make you feel a little weird when I say they look like my breasts – why? Is that the world we really want … Continue reading

5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season
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5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season

Instead of living through the last couple weeks of garbage smell in verbal form that all of our news feeds have become, try pretending that you are, instead, a graceful creature of the sky. Your news is birdsong and your desk is the trees. Your friends are birds too and your conversation is more birdsong. You … Continue reading

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / Health / Natural Phenomena / The Man / Women and Men

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists

WASHINGTON, D.C. – At the First Annual Subnormal Temperature Hands Convention in the nation’s capital this month, organizers were surprised to discover that they also had an accidental OB/gyn convention on their cold, cold hands. The 693 speakers and attendees, enjoying panels and workshops such as “Discreet Blankets For Public Use,” “Wearing Mittens To Bed: … Continue reading

America At Nearby Bar For Birthday This Year If You Wanna Swing By
Adulthood Struggles / Drunk Mistakes / holidays / In The News / Neighborhood News / The Man

America At Nearby Bar For Birthday This Year If You Wanna Swing By

PHILADELPHIA, PA. – Instead of hosting and cleaning up after another party in America’s apartment this year, she decided to have friends gather at a local bar. “It’ll be really low key, feel free to roll through and leave whenever,” America announced in a Facebook event. “Parking’s pretty easy, the meters on the main street … Continue reading

Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces
Adulthood Struggles / General Whining / In The News / Politics / Social Media / The Man

Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces

LOS ANGELES, CA – As the famous law of physics states, every ignorant public comment or piece of media released by a prominent figure has an equal and opposite reaction from the blogosphere. Unfortunately for physics, ignorant comment-saying and media creation requires much less energy than the necessary response to explain why it was degrading … Continue reading