Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%
Business News / Celebrities / In The News / Movies/TV / Politics / The Man

Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%

WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House officials scrambled for answers this morning when news broke that the nation’s unemployment rate for Andrew Garfields has skyrocketed in recent months – to approximately 100%. “He’s so talented, he’s brilliant. There’s no reason. How did we let this happen?” A spokesperson for Garfield said in a live press conference … Continue reading

Does That “Haha” Make Your Email Friendlier Or Undermine Everybody’s Respect For You?
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Self Help / The Man

Does That “Haha” Make Your Email Friendlier Or Undermine Everybody’s Respect For You?

OPINION – In this digital age of communicating with your co-workers predominantly through written electronic mail, it’s tough to walk the line between professional and so dry you sound rude. Some of us turn to a friendly “haha” to make it clear we’re not mad, and a pretty fun person – not knowing that it … Continue reading

Interns Excited To Learn As They Perform Duties Of Company’s Assistants, Janitors, CEO
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / In The News / The Man

Interns Excited To Learn As They Perform Duties Of Company’s Assistants, Janitors, CEO

A midsize Los Angeles production company announced Tuesday that they are “expanding unpaid interns’ roles to increase their opportunities to learn,” according to their PR department, currently consisting of one intern. Most seem to enjoy the new arrangement. “I wasn’t sure how to feel when I started cleaning the bathrooms, but acting as CEO two … Continue reading

4chan threatens Dave’s mom with leaked nudes over “take out the trash” speech
Celebrities / General Whining / In The News / Social Media / Tech News / The Man / Women and Men

4chan threatens Dave’s mom with leaked nudes over “take out the trash” speech

After planning a brave takedown of Emma Watson’s feminazi propaganda about freeing men from their own gender stereotypes, certain members of 4chan’s /b/ board announced they’re targeting Dave’s mom next. “Women cry about unfair treatment, when Dave literally has to take out the trash?? Because his mom said so?”* posted one anonymous user about the … Continue reading

Spiritual Woman Empowered By The Thought “When I die, I hope I come back as a corporation.”
Business News / Health / In The News / Inspirational / Neighborhood News / Politics / Spirituality / The Man

Spiritual Woman Empowered By The Thought “When I die, I hope I come back as a corporation.”

Local grocery store chain company employee Olivia Dewris reported Monday that she felt “considerably uplifted” by the idea of being reborn as a corporation in the next life, “if I’m lucky.” Dewris had been daydreaming about the concept of reincarnation when she began to fantasize about the possibilities. “I started thinking about what could possibly … Continue reading

After Noah, Christians realize Captain America 2 also unfaithful to Bible
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After Noah, Christians realize Captain America 2 also unfaithful to Bible

There has been some pundit outrage this week that Darren Aronofsky’s new Christian religious happyjam movie Noah isn’t as happy or religious as expected. Turning for solace from the garbage nonmovie to the week’s other box office titan, Captain America 2, theatergoers were shocked and horrified to find that the Captain’s biblical story was also different than … Continue reading

9 Signs that shy guy you’ve had your eye on is married to you
Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Inspirational / Lists / Self Help / The Man / Weddings / Women and Men

9 Signs that shy guy you’ve had your eye on is married to you

Shy guys are notoriously difficult to read, especially when it comes to gauging whether or not he’s legally joined in holy matrimony with you. Watch for these subtle hints to help solve the marital mystery! 1) He stares then looks away. Do you often catch him staring at you out of the corner of your … Continue reading