Modern understanding of gender and sexuality has led to so many exciting discussions and nuances. Since more people now realize that gender is a Spectrum, if you act now you can bundle a home telephone line with your identity. Since gender is separate from sexuality, this does not preclude you from getting lightning fast internet … Continue reading
Category Archives: Inspirational
Jeff Flake Forgoes Homemade Ghost Costume Under Which He’s Been Criticizing Trump For Months
WASHINGTON, D.C.– Senator Jeff Flake tweeted a stinging rebuke of President Donald Trump’s latest controversial comments Thursday, most notably without the homemade ghost costume Flake has been wearing since September and well past Halloween. Sources say that Flake took off the billowy disguise (from under which he has been criticizing Trump for months) sometime soon … Continue reading
Woman Convincingly Hiding Reaction To $800 Price Tag Sparks Early Oscar Buzz
Local woman Shannon Ethers, 30, earned herself early talk of an Oscar nod after her performance at a boutique lingerie shop where she convincingly reacted to an $800 bra like it was no big deal. Ethers had reportedly never intended to go into the previously unnoticed shop but popped into the store on a whim … Continue reading
Senator Collins: “We MUST listen to women before we tell them it doesn’t matter.”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Senator Collins heroically addressed the Senate Friday to announce her intention to vote YES on Judge Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court, emphasizing that “we must listen to women before we tell them it doesn’t matter.” In her passionate statement, Senator Collins bravely insisted, “we have to acknowledge the Me Too movement … Continue reading
Most Popular Baby Names Inspired By Stranger Things
Thanks to the overwhelming popularity of Netflix’s Stranger Things, we’ve seen a spike in babies with names that clearly took some inspiration from the hit show. If you’re looking for a fun baby name from your favorite bingeathon, here’s a list of the most common names this year to come out of Stranger Things! Mike … Continue reading
5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season
Instead of living through the last couple weeks of garbage smell in verbal form that all of our news feeds have become, try pretending that you are, instead, a graceful creature of the sky. Your news is birdsong and your desk is the trees. Your friends are birds too and your conversation is more birdsong. You … Continue reading
29-Year-Old Still Working High School Test Scores Into Everyday Conversations
LOS ANGELES, CA – Local 29-year-old office coordinator Maisy Azoff has accomplished “plenty” at this point in her career, but still can’t get enough of the “oohs” and “aahs” she hears when she brings up her high school test scores. “When you get a 32 on the ACT, it’s ALWAYS relevant!” Azoff proclaims in a … Continue reading
OPINION: I Too Could Be A Women’s Gymnastics Champion If It’s Just The Hand-Wavy Stuff
Like so many others around the world watching the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team dominate at the Summer Olympic Games in Rio this past week, I was inspired. The athleticism, strength, grace, artistry, power, determination, showmanship– the list of traits required to master the feats these women have achieved physically is truly astounding, and they have … Continue reading
New Pickup Artists Get Sex By Forging Genuine Connection, Loving Women Forever
“There are a few easy things you can do to get pretty much any woman into bed,” Mike “SwitchBlaade” Ross began, taking the hands of his future wife at the altar of a little church in Eagle Rock, Los Angeles. Continue reading
5 Successful People Who Think Mornings Are Bullshit
Things super successful people do before 8am. Productive people wake up really early. Wake up insanely early. Other articles that would fill you with rage if you weren’t so tired. Despite the mainstream internet media’s weird obsession with getting you to get up before sunrise, accomplished humans who are also nonfunctional in the AM are … Continue reading