WILMINGTON, NC – Forty-year-old American citizen and small business manager, Eric Smith, was sifting through online article after online article for any news on how “Brexit” might affect Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding community across the pond.
“I keep hearing about the Brexit and how disastrous it is for lots of U.K. industries and citizens, but what I want to know is how does this affect Hogwarts? How would Dumbledore feel about it, you know, if he were still alive? How bad is this for Gringotts? This is front page The Daily Prophet news for sure, so where is it?” said an agitated Smith.
Smith reported his frustration over the lack of information on ramifications likely being felt by the wizarding world, but seemed optimistic. “They might be totally fine over there because their wizard currency is entirely independent of the pound, but I’d still like to know.”
After quickly Googlng the E.U. and how it functions with its European members, Smith threw up his hands and concluded, “you can probably kiss the Triwizard Cup goodbye, and we can’t even begin to sort out the Quidditch World Cup! It’s too early to tell.”
Many fear regions of the U.K. that voted to remain, such as Scotland and Northern Ireland, will now choose independence in order to stay with the E.U. “Where does that leave Luna?? And Cho?! I think they’re from those places?” asked Smith. “I want some answers!”
The release of voting results on the referendum have provided substantial data showing a strong pattern by region and age of voters.
Smith waved a hand at the blue and red “Leave or Remain” map of voting results on his computer screen as he explained the takeaway. “You can see it right here, 56% of voters in the 25-49 age block wanted to stay in the E.U. So, we can confidently say Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the gang are not happy with the results. Hogwarts seventh years even less so,” said Smith, shaking his head and pointing to the 75% of 18-24 age block that voted in favor of Remain. Smith shrugged before adding, “Sounds like a lot of people voted for paranoid Us vs. Them immigration reasons. That sounds right up Malfoy’s alley.”