1. Missing the Recess gang. And that kid whose bed you lived under that looked like one of the Recess gang. (Mikey.)
2. Wishing you still had Lipsmackers lip gloss, which was the only thing that could classily dazzle up scaly green skin in middle school.
3. Collecting AOL free trial CDs in the mail from the houses you staggered through moaning and dragging your heavy chains.
4. Bitter ‘NSync vs. Backstreet Boys rivalries, even though they only ended in bloodshed during your full moon transformations.
5. The frustrations of your parents’ dial-up internet – and the forsaken cave where they created you, an unnatural abomination, from pieces of nearby farm animals one cursed eve.
6. Trying to teach your Furby swear words, which was nearly as frustrating as fully possessing souls of innocents to roam the earth doing your bidding.
7. Watching Never Been Kissed when you were afraid your friends would find out you had never been kissed. Or that you were a skeleton reanimated by a witch who murdered local children at night.
8. You wish you could go back to your room full of Beanie Babies almost as badly as the swamp from whence you came.
9. Courteney Cox = favorite Friend you ever imprisoned in a tower and replaced with an enchanted hat rack, amirite?!
10. Light up sneakers kicked so much ass – they were almost as much fun going down as they were being vomited up onto a crowd of horrified onlookers!