Adulthood Struggles / Drunk Mistakes / Food / Neighborhood News / Self Help / Women and Men

Co-worker brings traditional family “meltdown” to office potluck

Angry, Frustrated WomanSomething appeared a little off with a local office coordinator earlier today. Megan Grouse, 32, reportedly mistook her co-workers for various family members, fueled by apparent pent-up resentment for each.

She also brought stuffing, made after her mother’s recipe. “OF COURSE IT’S NOT QUITE AS GOOD AS YOURS, MOTHER,” she snapped to her startled supervisor. “EVEN THOUGH I FOLLOWED THE RECIPE EXACTLY.” In her defense, several co-workers did say the stuffing was “very delicious.”

Conflicts arose seemingly at random. During an executive toast to the company’s productiveness this year, she yelled “HA HA I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO LAW SCHOOL BECAUSE MONEY’S WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO, FATHER, YES” but had no memory of this immediately after. When she was in line to fill her plate, bystanders heard a sudden “I’M NOT DRINKING BECAUSE WE ALL REMEMBER LAST YEAR. FINE, I’M DRINKING, WHO CARES. THIS TURKEY ISN’T DUMPING ITSELF ON THE FLOOR.”

Her superiors hesitated to act because “we didn’t want to be insensitive to something that may have been an illness. Especially in a way that could have legal repercussions.”

“GABBY GOT MARRIED FIRST BECAUSE SHE SETTLED,” Megan announced when most were picking out dessert. “SURE, I’D BANG DOUG. WE ALL WOULD. BUT YOU’VE TALKED TO HIM. OR TRIED, RIGHT? HA HA? I’M KIDDING, DOUG.”

Mark, an associate supervisor with some romantic interest in Megan, says the outbursts aren’t deterring him. “It’s clear she doesn’t let her family push her around. Even her nana, who seems very upset about Megan’s short haircut. I’d like to know more.”

“IF YOU MUMBLE, WE STILL HEAR YOUR HATEFUL WORDS, NANA,” Megan declared to co-worker nods and assent. “CAN I MAKE YOU ANOTHER GIN-AND-GIN TO GO WITH YOUR GIN?!”

Megan’s meltdown peaked as she swept the potluck food off the tables into a trash can. “YOU’RE NOT MY FAMILY! MAYBE THANKSGIVING WILL BE BETTER – IN THE TRAAASH!”

“She’s getting a lot on the floor, but it’s nice we won’t have to clean up,” said receptionist Erika, as the remains of her brisket were flung onto the carpet. “All part of a kooky office environment, I guess.”   leahandlia logo

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