If you’re sick of regular old fall non-super food, or have already scarfed down your weight in cookies and are in desperate need of some extraordinary nutritional value, here are our favorite superfoods that can help you survive the autumn season. Sweet potatoes These very sweet orange tubers don’t need sugar and marshmallows to be … Continue reading
Author Archives: leahfolta
Community wondering if stranded ducklings are doing this on purpose
“So this was like the fourth sewer drain this week,” says local duckling rescuer (many times over) Anita Juarez. “And roof? How did they get onto a roof?” Disgruntled thoughts – shared by many citizens who are tired of getting ducklings out of and off of things around town. “Maybe we should just let them … Continue reading
Man regrets drunken cock tattoo
“I’ve never felt connected to the attributes of my Chinese zodiac sign, the cock,” explains 32-year-old Harlan White. He just finished a weeklong bender in Van Nuys and came out with a rather permanent way to remember the otherwise fun vacation – a majestic red cock across his left shoulder. “Cocks are supposed to be … Continue reading
Annual Bathroom Stall Gap Committee confirms: “1-1/2 inches A-OK!”
The small, elite group of Washington, D.C. officials who decide every year just how much space is appropriate for gaps between sections of bathroom stalls confirmed once again that everything is going, as one official put it, “super well.” “We’re very happy to confirm that the limits we’ve all been living with since the founding … Continue reading
Guy who looks like Daniel Radcliffe happily accepts praise intended for Daniel Radcliffe
Greg Cruz, a 27-year-old bank teller of Puerto Rican and Dutch descent, has been told by many people he looks like Daniel Radcliffe – including the strangers who mistake him for Daniel Radcliffe. Cruz recalls a typical interaction from earlier today. “A little girl came to my teller window with her mom, and said ‘I … Continue reading
10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A 90s Kid (Who Was Also A Monster)
1. Missing the Recess gang. And that kid whose bed you lived under that looked like one of the Recess gang. (Mikey.) 2. Wishing you still had Lipsmackers lip gloss, which was the only thing that could classily dazzle up scaly green skin in middle school. 3. Collecting AOL free trial CDs in the mail … Continue reading
Your Newsfeed’s Top Posts This Week
This whole newfangled business of “like”ing and “share”ing and basing your self worth on both might seem confusing, or scary. What do people “like” the most? Will anyone ever love you? Why do you feel so alone and cold in this unfeeling universe of digital friends who are all doing sexier, more fulfilling things than … Continue reading
Cockroach that pilots John Boehner still getting paid during shutdown
WASHINGTON D.C.–“Representative Boehner’s roach has been deemed ‘essential’ to government function,” one furloughed employee complained. “Most of us have been piloting ourselves all along and still don’t get a paycheck right now.” The situation certainly looks bad for the much-criticized House speaker, who has been busy leading his party to record low approval ratings. The … Continue reading
If The Shady Liquor Store By Your House Had A Twitter
It’s pretty much a given nowadays that any business is getting their hands all sticky in the social media honeypot. Not to be left out of the action, that shady liquor store around the corner from your house wants to expand its regulars beyond those drunk guys that you walk by every morning and the … Continue reading
USC’s interim coach can feed self, tie own shoes
“The rate of recovery, even at this point, has been staggering,” says one college football blogger. “Basic motor skills? A day in? It’s more than we could have hoped.” And many USC fans were hoping, all right. Ever since The Accident (SC’s previous season-and-a-half long era), it was unclear whether they’d see leadership that didn’t … Continue reading