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CHILDHOOD RUINED: Olsens’ “It Takes Two” To Be Rebooted With All-Female Cast
90s / Celebrities / In The News / Movies/TV / Social Media / Women and Men

CHILDHOOD RUINED: Olsens’ “It Takes Two” To Be Rebooted With All-Female Cast

Written by Leah Folta & Lia Woodward The internet is in an uproar after this morning’s announcement that Warner Bros. greenlit an all-female reboot of beloved childhood Olsen twins favorite It Takes Two – re-ruining childhoods already devastated by the recent Ghostbusters movie. Much of the outrage centers around the idea that two memorable roles … Continue reading

Time Traveler Who Planned Better Has Plenty Of Time To Explain
Adulthood Struggles / Neighborhood News / Tech News

Time Traveler Who Planned Better Has Plenty Of Time To Explain

ARCADIA, CA — A local teen struggling to make decisions about her future on Friday afternoon was visited by herself from the year 2028 and was pleased to find that she had plenty of time to acclimate to the situation. (As a minor, she remains anonymous.) “I wish the media would stop and think for … Continue reading

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists
Adulthood Struggles / Business News / Health / Natural Phenomena / The Man / Women and Men

Nation’s Top Coldest Hands Are All Gynecologists

WASHINGTON, D.C. – At the First Annual Subnormal Temperature Hands Convention in the nation’s capital this month, organizers were surprised to discover that they also had an accidental OB/gyn convention on their cold, cold hands. The 693 speakers and attendees, enjoying panels and workshops such as “Discreet Blankets For Public Use,” “Wearing Mittens To Bed: … Continue reading

7 Grossest Seahorse Pregnancy Secrets No One Will Tell You
Babies / Health / Lists / Natural Phenomena / Uncategorized

7 Grossest Seahorse Pregnancy Secrets No One Will Tell You

Most of us like to think seahorse pregnancy is all beautiful mating dance rituals and a quick 9 to 45 days of blissful gestation, but believe us, there are a lot of disgusting truths that nobody’s talking about… until now. 1) Seahorse dads have a “brood pouch” that carries the young and it’s actually just modified … Continue reading

America At Nearby Bar For Birthday This Year If You Wanna Swing By
Adulthood Struggles / Drunk Mistakes / holidays / In The News / Neighborhood News / The Man

America At Nearby Bar For Birthday This Year If You Wanna Swing By

PHILADELPHIA, PA. – Instead of hosting and cleaning up after another party in America’s apartment this year, she decided to have friends gather at a local bar. “It’ll be really low key, feel free to roll through and leave whenever,” America announced in a Facebook event. “Parking’s pretty easy, the meters on the main street … Continue reading

Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces
Adulthood Struggles / General Whining / In The News / Politics / Social Media / The Man

Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces

LOS ANGELES, CA – As the famous law of physics states, every ignorant public comment or piece of media released by a prominent figure has an equal and opposite reaction from the blogosphere. Unfortunately for physics, ignorant comment-saying and media creation requires much less energy than the necessary response to explain why it was degrading … Continue reading

This Woman Can Only Orgasm To New Info About Gilmore Girls Revival
Celebrities / Get More Sex / Health / In The News / Movies/TV / Natural Phenomena / Women and Men

This Woman Can Only Orgasm To New Info About Gilmore Girls Revival

PASADENA, CA – The upcoming Gilmore Girls Netflix revival has aroused excitement in hordes of internet fans, but for one woman the arousal is literal – and not as fun as it sounds. “It’s ruined my life, honestly, and I’m sick of hiding it,” Tasha Perkins, 41, revealed about her newfound affliction. “I can only, … Continue reading