Adulthood Struggles / Get More Sex

More Realistic Porn to Now Include Pauses for Burps

two people laying on a bed covered with a floral comforter

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com


SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA — A new effort to offer more “realistic” content within the adult film industry promises to now show actors briefly putting the sexy action on hold in order to accomodate burps throughout the scene.

“Some will be really quick, some might be louder than anticipated, and some might be a total false alarm, but then you just move on,” explains adult film star Kenneth Redmeat as he describes the types of progressively realistic burp breaks that we can look forward to seeing everywhere soon.

“Viewers want to see the real deal these days,“ says producer Veronica Jess, which according to Jess includes the familiar act of taking a moment in the middle of sensually slamming to stop and lean away in order to avoid unloading one’s gaseous mouth demons directly onto a sexual partner’s face before immediately resuming said slamming. “We’re giving the people what they want: hot sex with burpy moments they can really see themselves in.”

Redmeat is also looking forward to the artistic opportunities that the new pausing for burps presents, suggesting he might throw in a tension-breaking laugh or “ignore the burp so well the other person wonders if I even noticed– there are so many directions you can take this.”

Other exciting realistic action currently in the works includes pausing for various leg cramps, resting on elbows to give wrists a break, getting some water real quick, and giving up when it gets too hot and there’s no AC.

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