Disappointed with previous fun-ness of reported guest experiences, company CEO Charles Wild Wings has announced the Guest Experience Captain position will no longer be something “unfun people can just waltz into.” “When I’m watching a football game on one of our dozens of fine TVs, and a girl with a microphone is encouraging me to … Continue reading
Category Archives: In The News
Woman honors Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with a late breakfast, Netflix binge
A Los Angeles woman granted time to celebrate the life and accomplishments of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. chose to honor him by finally marathoning Firefly. “I’ve heard from so many people that it’s amazing, and it was great to have a day to myself to see what all the fuss is about,” the 26-year-old … Continue reading
2013 Year-End Lists We Wish Existed (But Don’t)
If the idea of reading all the collections, slideshows, and fastidious accounting and indexing of pop culture this year makes you feel like someone’s got a tight grip on your listicles, you can breathe easy – here’s all you need to read. 2013’s five most touching times Google decided not to destroy all the humans … Continue reading
Dog reunited with family after 700-mile trek not getting the hint, says family
“He was always such a clingy dog,” says Linda Herman, whose family feels they gave their dog Marty “clear signs” they were interested in pursuing other dogs. “We tried everything else, at first. Pretending we didn’t see Marty when we ran into him around the house, ‘forgetting’ to tell him when we went to the … Continue reading
5 Stages of Grieving Your Favorite Coach’s Resignation
Real Talk From Lia: As much as I like to joke around, I just want to say that I honestly have been a very big fan of Ed Orgeron ever since he stepped up as USC’s football coach. His fun, refreshingly positive, classy leadership style and his genuine affection for the players is something I … Continue reading
Semi-celebrity going to give blackface one more shot
“You just have to see it! It’s funny in my head,” said an actress named Jan* to her friends and family today, after they suggested she reconsider. One of the recent astounding gifts of the internet is a window to the masses of people unaware that painting on a darker skin color for a costume … Continue reading
4 Superfoods For Fall
If you’re sick of regular old fall non-super food, or have already scarfed down your weight in cookies and are in desperate need of some extraordinary nutritional value, here are our favorite superfoods that can help you survive the autumn season. Sweet potatoes These very sweet orange tubers don’t need sugar and marshmallows to be … Continue reading
Community wondering if stranded ducklings are doing this on purpose
“So this was like the fourth sewer drain this week,” says local duckling rescuer (many times over) Anita Juarez. “And roof? How did they get onto a roof?” Disgruntled thoughts – shared by many citizens who are tired of getting ducklings out of and off of things around town. “Maybe we should just let them … Continue reading
San Francisco transforms into Gotham to fulfill boy’s wish, “We have an overwhelming number of volunteers wanting to be bad guys.”
In a heartwarming display of kindness, thousands of citizens will help to make 5-year-old Miles’ wish to be Batman come true by selflessly volunteering to be bad guys for today in San Francisco. “The inspiring story just hit me right in the feelings,” says Bobby Woodtrain, a tall, native San Franciscan who appears to really … Continue reading
Annual Bathroom Stall Gap Committee confirms: “1-1/2 inches A-OK!”
The small, elite group of Washington, D.C. officials who decide every year just how much space is appropriate for gaps between sections of bathroom stalls confirmed once again that everything is going, as one official put it, “super well.” “We’re very happy to confirm that the limits we’ve all been living with since the founding … Continue reading