By now we’ve all seen– you’ve all seen it, haven’t you, the Op-ed? Yes. You’ve all seen it in the Failing New York Times. The Op-Ed was of course anomous…anomousss, but listen folks, two can play that game! So I’m writing in to say what gutless, disgusting–they are gutless to do this against the great … Continue reading
Author Archives: liawoodward
OPINION: What is the path to redemption in the MeToo movement so that I know for when my own misconduct comes out
NEW YORK– Last Sunday night Louis C.K. surprised the audience at the Comedy Cellar with a 15 minute set (which honestly doesn’t sound THAT long, or at least not as long as other guys I’ve heard stories about, and certainly no longer than any one of us has done) suggesting his return to comedy, and … Continue reading
More Realistic Porn to Now Include Pauses for Burps
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA — A new effort to offer more “realistic” content within the adult film industry promises to now show actors briefly putting the sexy action on hold in order to accomodate burps throughout the scene. “Some will be really quick, some might be louder than anticipated, and some might be a total … Continue reading
Most Popular Baby Names Inspired By Stranger Things
Thanks to the overwhelming popularity of Netflix’s Stranger Things, we’ve seen a spike in babies with names that clearly took some inspiration from the hit show. If you’re looking for a fun baby name from your favorite bingeathon, here’s a list of the most common names this year to come out of Stranger Things! Mike … Continue reading
Scientific Community: “Love already 90% dead due to human activity.”
HOLLYWOOD, California – Years of speculation and debate officially came to an end Monday as the scientific community announced it had reached a consensus: Love is already 90% dead, indisputably due to human activity. Experts were aware Love had been dying with increasing speed over the last decade, but the idea that humans, especially famous … Continue reading
Do not let Trump Distract You With New ‘Pirates of The Caribbean’ Hottie Brenton Thwaites
It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the headlines coming out of Washington at increasingly dizzying speeds thanks to President Trump’s apparent talent for media distraction, so you’ll be forgiven if you’ve fallen for his latest and most brilliant attention trap, ‘Pirates of The Caribbean 5’ Australian cutie Brenton Thwaites. As admittedly satisfying … Continue reading
The Most Impossible Game Of ‘Would You Rather’ If You’re Phenomenally Bad At Weighing Options
No internet for a year? Or always have reliable wifi for the rest of your life?? We bet you can’t survive these Would You Rathers, assuming you’re someone with a fundamental lack of differentiating between good and bad choices! 1) WOULD YOU RATHER… Get new bath towels for free? Or– Your bath towels are sandpaper? … Continue reading
OPINION: I Too Could Be A Women’s Gymnastics Champion If It’s Just The Hand-Wavy Stuff
Like so many others around the world watching the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team dominate at the Summer Olympic Games in Rio this past week, I was inspired. The athleticism, strength, grace, artistry, power, determination, showmanship– the list of traits required to master the feats these women have achieved physically is truly astounding, and they have … Continue reading
7 Grossest Seahorse Pregnancy Secrets No One Will Tell You
Most of us like to think seahorse pregnancy is all beautiful mating dance rituals and a quick 9 to 45 days of blissful gestation, but believe us, there are a lot of disgusting truths that nobody’s talking about… until now. 1) Seahorse dads have a “brood pouch” that carries the young and it’s actually just modified … Continue reading
American More Concerned How “Brexit” Affects Hogwarts
WILMINGTON, NC – Forty-year-old American citizen and small business manager, Eric Smith, was sifting through online article after online article for any news on how “Brexit” might affect Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding community across the pond. “I keep hearing about the Brexit and how disastrous it is for lots of U.K. industries … Continue reading