WASHINGTON, D.C.– Senator Jeff Flake tweeted a stinging rebuke of President Donald Trump’s latest controversial comments Thursday, most notably without the homemade ghost costume Flake has been wearing since September and well past Halloween. Sources say that Flake took off the billowy disguise (from under which he has been criticizing Trump for months) sometime soon … Continue reading
Tag Archives: trump
Trump Supporters Need Increasingly Extreme Rhetoric In Order to Get Off, Study Finds
EVERYWHERE, U.S.– A new study published Friday found that Trump supporters require increasingly extreme rhetoric over time in order to get off. Reaching back as far as 2011, the study closely examined how Trump supporters– once adequately satisfied with controversial (racist) statements questioning President Barack Obama’s citizenship in the United States– have habitually needed more … Continue reading
Man’s Life Officially Ruined
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s life was officially ruined in a private ceremony Saturday with his family, the president, key politicians, and the other 8 sitting supreme court justices in attendance. President Donald Trump bemoaned Kavanaugh’s ruined life to those present for the occasion before Chief Justice John Roberts and former Justice Anthony Kennedy … Continue reading
OPINION: I’m Writing In to Denounce The NYT Op-Ed Anomous…Anomously
By now we’ve all seen– you’ve all seen it, haven’t you, the Op-ed? Yes. You’ve all seen it in the Failing New York Times. The Op-Ed was of course anomous…anomousss, but listen folks, two can play that game! So I’m writing in to say what gutless, disgusting–they are gutless to do this against the great … Continue reading
How To Make The Most Of Your Time Alone With Your Uterus Before Kavanaugh’s Confirmation
Kamala is doing her best and public opinion isn’t currently glowing, but the political pressure on Republicans and legislatively hilariously easy path for Brett Kavanaugh makes his placement on the Supreme Court currently seem inevitable. So here are some fun date ideas to make the most of your remaining alone time with your uterus! Have … Continue reading
OPINION: I Was One Of 24% Of Americans Who Approved Of Nixon As He Resigned
Donald Trump’s approval rating is currently at a new low, 33%, but many Americans are baffled that that number is so high. Well, as one of the 24% of Americans who still approved of President Nixon after a 14-month investigation and his subsequent synonymity with the idea of a lying, crooked politician, I am here … Continue reading
Do not let Trump Distract You With New ‘Pirates of The Caribbean’ Hottie Brenton Thwaites
It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the headlines coming out of Washington at increasingly dizzying speeds thanks to President Trump’s apparent talent for media distraction, so you’ll be forgiven if you’ve fallen for his latest and most brilliant attention trap, ‘Pirates of The Caribbean 5’ Australian cutie Brenton Thwaites. As admittedly satisfying … Continue reading
5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season
Instead of living through the last couple weeks of garbage smell in verbal form that all of our news feeds have become, try pretending that you are, instead, a graceful creature of the sky. Your news is birdsong and your desk is the trees. Your friends are birds too and your conversation is more birdsong. You … Continue reading