“So this was like the fourth sewer drain this week,” says local duckling rescuer (many times over) Anita Juarez. “And roof? How did they get onto a roof?” Disgruntled thoughts – shared by many citizens who are tired of getting ducklings out of and off of things around town. “Maybe we should just let them … Continue reading
The small, elite group of Washington, D.C. officials who decide every year just how much space is appropriate for gaps between sections of bathroom stalls confirmed once again that everything is going, as one official put it, “super well.” “We’re very happy to confirm that the limits we’ve all been living with since the founding … Continue reading
1. Missing the Recess gang. And that kid whose bed you lived under that looked like one of the Recess gang. (Mikey.) 2. Wishing you still had Lipsmackers lip gloss, which was the only thing that could classily dazzle up scaly green skin in middle school. 3. Collecting AOL free trial CDs in the mail … Continue reading
They are the “Me Generation,” coddled to delusion, constantly Twittering everything on their Facebooks. When I was your age, we didn’t have these millennial “material girls” with their mohawks, robot obsession, crop tops, hair metal, and the rise of crack cocaine. All these flannel-wearing draft-dodging feminist millennials are too selfish to get a job or … Continue reading
If you’ve paid any attention to the film world the past few months, you know the eight-eyed face that’s managed to skitter into a hell of an overnight career. And if you’re familiar with his* first big role in a predictable Heigl rom-com, you know this success is not because of acting talent. Watching this … Continue reading
After millions of viewers watched Desiree Hartsock accept Chris Siegfried’s proposal on last night’s explosive finale of The Bachelorette, fans of the popular reality show were shocked when allegations quickly surfaced that the bachelorette herself was suspected of dating 25 different men throughout the taping of this season. Since the news broke, Desiree and Chris have … Continue reading
EXT. LIBRARY – DAY CAITLIN, 25, leaves a library holding BOOKS. SMARMY NARRATOR (V.O.) Caitlin is just another bookish ponytail girl who’s more in love with books than boys. She trips into the arms of GREG, 25, who’s cute in a non-threatening way. They make some SWEET EYE CONTACT. SMARMY NARRATOR (V.O.) But love… Wrote her another … Continue reading
Saturday morning Mary Perry, a 23 year old grad student, woke up to a horrifying realization about the best day of her life. The day started out like any other – in an extremely familiar yet hard to place coffee shop.”I was in line to order at the register,” described Perry, “when I noticed that … Continue reading
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