If you’ve paid any attention to the film world the past few months, you know the eight-eyed face that’s managed to skitter into a hell of an overnight career.

And if you’re familiar with his* first big role in a predictable Heigl rom-com, you know this success is not because of acting talent. Watching this guy act is like, trap me in some sort of glue, spin me up and put me out of my misery, am I right?? HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING WORK?

But, lo and behold, despite exhibiting less emotions than legs — this big fuzzy poisonous loser found himself in a Cruise action vehicle….

On the talk show circuit…

Acting opposite God himself…

Reportedly dated his old costar…

And, most recently, garnered a lot of ill-earned buzz as the love interest of freaking Daniel Day-Lewis in some Oscar bait nonsense. How does he keep doing it??

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…

He’s A TERRIBLE ACTOR.   

*Uncertain.