Seeing all of you gathered here today, mostly in your pajamas, it’s crazy to realize that just one year ago we were just starting on this journey: capped and gowned, maybe kind of drunk, truly thrilled to see our family but also excited for them to leave so we could have sex with Kevin before … Continue reading
Author Archives: leahfolta
Horoscope Retractions (From The World’s Worst Horoscopist)
Scientists make new discoveries all the time, including us here in the respected, constant-discovery-making field of horoscopy. And sometimes we just straight up miss or ignore stuff we shouldn’t have. Let he who never made a mistake at his job cast the first stone, all right? Virgo – When I wrote last week that “you’re … Continue reading
Dear internet:
A Basic Guide To Body Language (For The Lady On The Prowl)
Here is everything I’ve learned about the ancient art of body language from Cosmo, Cosmo Girl!, and my numerous personal successes. Someone’s body language may tell you more about what they’re thinking than what they actually say! Memorize these tips and watch yourself become irresistible. HOW TO READ THE BODY LANGUAGE OF OTHERS (to maximize your … Continue reading
The Musical Soundtrack To Postgrad Unemployment
Your first summer as a degreed adult has dawned. As you may have noticed, the rest of your life sprawls endlessly, terrifyingly before you with no semblance of the former school-year structure you’ve known for roughly 90% of your life. Luckily, when I graduated I decided to capture the sounds of this horrible time in … Continue reading
The Customer Service Championship (If Dealing with Customer Service was a Sport)
ACTION RECAP! The winners won, the losers blurted some “accidental” slurs, and the season is now wrapped up after the Keep Calm With Customer Service championship. THE FINALS The competition was long and bitter, as usual, in the three civilian vs. service rep final matches leading up to the championship game. The youngest competitor, college … Continue reading
Coping with the loss of a hard drive
Losing a hard drive before its time can seem random, or unfair. But it happens around us all the time, for mysterious reasons, and you’re reading this because it unfortunately just happened to you or someone you love. Anyone who’s typed anything longer than an email into their phone knows the struggle. Anyone who last … Continue reading
4 People You Don’t Want To Talk To About The Oscars
ON THEIR FAVORITE FOR BEST PICTURE Your Dad: “Nobody from Two And A Half Men is in any of these.” Your Friend Who Went To Film School: “Did you see Amour or Beasts of the Southern Wild? No? Then a tie between those.” Your Grandmother: “You know who’s a real shiny apple, is that Ben … Continue reading