WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House officials scrambled for answers this morning when news broke that the nation’s unemployment rate for Andrew Garfields has skyrocketed in recent months – to approximately 100%. “He’s so talented, he’s brilliant. There’s no reason. How did we let this happen?” A spokesperson for Garfield said in a live press conference … Continue reading
Local grocery store chain company employee Olivia Dewris reported Monday that she felt “considerably uplifted” by the idea of being reborn as a corporation in the next life, “if I’m lucky.” Dewris had been daydreaming about the concept of reincarnation when she began to fantasize about the possibilities. “I started thinking about what could possibly … Continue reading
According to the latest weather reports, Hurricane Flossie will not be backing out of its race toward Hawaii, saying, “it’s not my decision.” Hurricane Flossie’s persistence has meteorologists shaking their heads in the wake of the hurricane’s recent sex scandal. As one weather reporter phrased it, “it was already difficult to take it seriously with … Continue reading
On Tuesday June 25, 2013 Texas Senator Wendy Davis dove right into a filibuster that required her to speak continuously and stay on topic for 13 hours. When asked how she was able to keep coming up with things to say, Senator Davis replied that it was a combination of thorough research and “weekend improv … Continue reading
LeahAndLia.com 