5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season
Grief Counseling / In The News / Inspirational / Pictures / Politics / Self Help / The Man / Women and Men

5 Birds To Fantasize About Living As For The Rest Of Election Season

Instead of living through the last couple weeks of garbage smell in verbal form that all of our news feeds have become, try pretending that you are, instead, a graceful creature of the sky. Your news is birdsong and your desk is the trees. Your friends are birds too and your conversation is more birdsong. You … Continue reading

White Supremacist Beginning To Think Tyler Not Supreme
Adulthood Struggles / Fears / Neighborhood News / Politics

White Supremacist Beginning To Think Tyler Not Supreme

ST. LOUIS, MO – Prominent white supremacist Dan Donelan, whose faith in the superiority of white people shapes every facet of his life and behavior, may be reconsidering his beliefs based on local white teen Tyler – who is seemingly not growing up to be “supreme.” “We like to give ‘em a few years to … Continue reading

Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces
Adulthood Struggles / General Whining / In The News / Politics / Social Media / The Man

Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces

LOS ANGELES, CA – As the famous law of physics states, every ignorant public comment or piece of media released by a prominent figure has an equal and opposite reaction from the blogosphere. Unfortunately for physics, ignorant comment-saying and media creation requires much less energy than the necessary response to explain why it was degrading … Continue reading

Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%
Business News / Celebrities / In The News / Movies/TV / Politics / The Man

Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%

WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House officials scrambled for answers this morning when news broke that the nation’s unemployment rate for Andrew Garfields has skyrocketed in recent months – to approximately 100%. “He’s so talented, he’s brilliant. There’s no reason. How did we let this happen?” A spokesperson for Garfield said in a live press conference … Continue reading

Spiritual Woman Empowered By The Thought “When I die, I hope I come back as a corporation.”
Business News / Health / In The News / Inspirational / Neighborhood News / Politics / Spirituality / The Man

Spiritual Woman Empowered By The Thought “When I die, I hope I come back as a corporation.”

Local grocery store chain company employee Olivia Dewris reported Monday that she felt “considerably uplifted” by the idea of being reborn as a corporation in the next life, “if I’m lucky.” Dewris had been daydreaming about the concept of reincarnation when she began to fantasize about the possibilities. “I started thinking about what could possibly … Continue reading

Hurricane Flossie Refuses to Back Out of Scheduled Hawaii Storm Despite Raunchy Leaked Photos
Celebrities / In The News / Natural Phenomena / Politics

Hurricane Flossie Refuses to Back Out of Scheduled Hawaii Storm Despite Raunchy Leaked Photos

According to the latest weather reports, Hurricane Flossie will not be backing out of its race toward Hawaii, saying, “it’s not my decision.” Hurricane Flossie’s persistence has meteorologists shaking their heads in the wake of the hurricane’s recent sex scandal.  As one weather reporter phrased it, “it was already difficult to take it seriously with … Continue reading

Senator Wendy Davis credits filibuster stamina to “weekend improv classes”
Politics / The Man / Women and Men

Senator Wendy Davis credits filibuster stamina to “weekend improv classes”

On Tuesday June 25, 2013 Texas Senator Wendy Davis dove right into a filibuster that required her to speak continuously and stay on topic for 13 hours. When asked how she was able to keep coming up with things to say, Senator Davis replied that it was a combination of thorough research and “weekend improv … Continue reading