Celebrities / In The News / Natural Phenomena / Politics

Hurricane Flossie Refuses to Back Out of Scheduled Hawaii Storm Despite Raunchy Leaked Photos

hurricane flossie

According to the latest weather reports, Hurricane Flossie will not be backing out of its race toward Hawaii, saying, “it’s not my decision.”

Hurricane Flossie’s persistence has meteorologists shaking their heads in the wake of the hurricane’s recent sex scandal.  As one weather reporter phrased it, “it was already difficult to take it seriously with a funny sounding name, and now it had to go and do something like this. It’s just too much.”

According to polls, Flossie’s numbers have plummeted, downgrading Flossie from a full-blown storm to just a “tropical depression.” The controversy began after a weather forecast site published explicit messages and images that an independent weather news station said it received from Flossie, including pictures of “Flossie’s flossie, if you know what I mean… heh.”

At first Hurricane Flossie tried to deny it was the one who had sent the photos online under the alias “Tropical Storm Danger,” but Flossie eventually admitted to “inappropriate” conversations on Twitter, Facebook, email, the phone, weather apps, and various other meteorological equipment with “not dozens and dozens [of weather reporters]; it’s six to ten, I suppose.”

Flossie took another hit when its campaign manager quit once the scandal surfaced.  Meteorologists across the U.S. are calling for Flossie to bow out of its Hawaiian plans, including esteemed Los Angeles weatherman Dallas Raines, who called Flossie’s behavior “reprehensible.”

The hurricane has insisted it will not drop out, saying its mission is about something “larger than myself… it’s about the citizens of Hawaii and how much I want to blow myself all over them.”

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