ST. LOUIS, MO – Prominent white supremacist Dan Donelan, whose faith in the superiority of white people shapes every facet of his life and behavior, may be reconsidering his beliefs based on local white teen Tyler – who is seemingly not growing up to be “supreme.” “We like to give ‘em a few years to … Continue reading
Tag Archives: politics
Nation’s Marginalized Citizens Sick Of Writing Think Pieces
LOS ANGELES, CA – As the famous law of physics states, every ignorant public comment or piece of media released by a prominent figure has an equal and opposite reaction from the blogosphere. Unfortunately for physics, ignorant comment-saying and media creation requires much less energy than the necessary response to explain why it was degrading … Continue reading
Nation’s Unemployment Rate For Andrew Garfields At 100%
WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House officials scrambled for answers this morning when news broke that the nation’s unemployment rate for Andrew Garfields has skyrocketed in recent months – to approximately 100%. “He’s so talented, he’s brilliant. There’s no reason. How did we let this happen?” A spokesperson for Garfield said in a live press conference … Continue reading
Spiritual Woman Empowered By The Thought “When I die, I hope I come back as a corporation.”
Local grocery store chain company employee Olivia Dewris reported Monday that she felt “considerably uplifted” by the idea of being reborn as a corporation in the next life, “if I’m lucky.” Dewris had been daydreaming about the concept of reincarnation when she began to fantasize about the possibilities. “I started thinking about what could possibly … Continue reading
Hurricane Flossie Refuses to Back Out of Scheduled Hawaii Storm Despite Raunchy Leaked Photos
According to the latest weather reports, Hurricane Flossie will not be backing out of its race toward Hawaii, saying, “it’s not my decision.” Hurricane Flossie’s persistence has meteorologists shaking their heads in the wake of the hurricane’s recent sex scandal. As one weather reporter phrased it, “it was already difficult to take it seriously with … Continue reading
Senator Wendy Davis credits filibuster stamina to “weekend improv classes”
On Tuesday June 25, 2013 Texas Senator Wendy Davis dove right into a filibuster that required her to speak continuously and stay on topic for 13 hours. When asked how she was able to keep coming up with things to say, Senator Davis replied that it was a combination of thorough research and “weekend improv … Continue reading