A local woman in a 3-month-long “official” relationship is announcing she’s made a crucial mistake. “We kept fighting about things I do wrong, or details about past relationships I shouldn’t have brought up. So I decided to lie about both!”

The woman says that when awkward topics or unhappy feelings do come up, she’s decided to lie neatly in the opposite direction. “Like when I said today ‘I did NOT force my way onstage during a live sex show in Thailand,’” she explains. “That really saved some unpleasant conversation.”

She says an alternative to outright lying is deflection. “He said he was interested in an open relationship. So I just smiled wide and ruffled his hair for a while. That was the end of that, I hope!”

Research shows that most couples split up over differences. If lying can eliminate all differences in opinions, wants, and needs, it’s solid science to think that this method can keep a couple together.

The local woman says her new policy has been rewarding so far, and she plans to continue it for as long as the relationship lasts. “Like my mother always said: a relationship that looks like it’s going well on the surface looks like it’s going well on the surface!”