Disappointed with previous fun-ness of reported guest experiences, company CEO Charles Wild Wings has announced the Guest Experience Captain position will no longer be something “unfun people can just waltz into.” “When I’m watching a football game on one of our dozens of fine TVs, and a girl with a microphone is encouraging me to … Continue reading
Category Archives: Business News
Annual Bathroom Stall Gap Committee confirms: “1-1/2 inches A-OK!”
The small, elite group of Washington, D.C. officials who decide every year just how much space is appropriate for gaps between sections of bathroom stalls confirmed once again that everything is going, as one official put it, “super well.” “We’re very happy to confirm that the limits we’ve all been living with since the founding … Continue reading
Cockroach that pilots John Boehner still getting paid during shutdown
WASHINGTON D.C.–“Representative Boehner’s roach has been deemed ‘essential’ to government function,” one furloughed employee complained. “Most of us have been piloting ourselves all along and still don’t get a paycheck right now.” The situation certainly looks bad for the much-criticized House speaker, who has been busy leading his party to record low approval ratings. The … Continue reading
If The Shady Liquor Store By Your House Had A Twitter
It’s pretty much a given nowadays that any business is getting their hands all sticky in the social media honeypot. Not to be left out of the action, that shady liquor store around the corner from your house wants to expand its regulars beyond those drunk guys that you walk by every morning and the … Continue reading