Adulthood Struggles / Advice / Get More Sex / Self Help

What Your First Date Meal Says About You and the Future of Your Relationship

So you’re on the first date, which is half the battle, and you’ve chosen to spend it eating food at a close proximity to one another. Now it’s time to discover your destiny. As the saying goes, “you date what you eat.”


You’re real cool and cultured, eh? You’ve got the poise and grace of a dancer, which is a necessity for attractively fitting a whole piece of crunch roll into your mouth all at once. Which you just did, and might I say, nailed it.

When it comes to sushi, you get full a lot faster than you think you will, and my friend, that is where this relationship is headed. You might be off to a chic start but watch out because just like raw fish, this romance may have salmonella.


Not afraid to get your hands dirty! Or your face! Think carefully about what messages you’re sending here, and ask for some extra napkins. Don’t want to come off sloppy. You’re confident, easygoing, ambitious, and love animals. But not cows. Nope. Hate ‘em. Give you the willies.

Your relationship entirely depends on what cheese is on there. I know it’s weird, but trust me. American indicates a lack of creativity and things will fizzle fast, Jack suggests you’ll have plenty of lively conversation to keep things exciting for at least a year, and cheddar is just delicious, it doesn’t mean anything.

Chicken Strips

You probably like dating people who are younger than you. You’re also a creature of habit and enjoy staying well within your comfort zone. You’re the person behind not just one but ALL of the 90s nostalgia memes. And if I had to guess, you probably also enjoy the taste of chicken.

Little known fact- chicken strips aren’t messing around. This relationship has the potential to actually last forever. Not even kidding. Take a good look at the person across from you as they watch you dunk your chicken strips into the sauce of your choice, because that guy or girl is going to be half of what makes up your babies.


Are you Italian? You wish you were? I thought so. You studied abroad in Europe for a semester in college and had an experience that was so life-changingly awesome that you can’t even remember most of the specifics, like all the names you said were yours, or where you went and what you saw. You like to be taken care of, and prefer being the little spoon, regardless if you are male or female.

This relationship is in for a lot of athleticism and drama. In other words, together you will both be in the best physical shape of your life, but there will also be a lot of crying for everyone involved, including your friends and acquaintances that aren’t involved. Fortunately, your impressive lovemaking and shared tastes in television will be amazing and make it all worth it.


You’re a woman.

Salad w/ Meat?

Still a woman.

Vegetarian Salad

OH so you’re a boring woman.

A Chocolate-Centric Dessert, and nothing else

You definitely have a sweet side but don’t have a problem breaking the rules. You like to get to the good stuff without any of the formalities (like say, actual dinner). You can be somewhat impatient and easily distracted at times but once you’re enjoying something in the moment you have no problem focusing and savoring it all night long. I’m still talking about dessert, here.

The future of your relationship on this one’s a little tricky. If you’re a woman, it depends on whether or not you two shared. If it was a pretty even split, and you briefly bantered over offering each other the last bite until you finally caved, then things are looking pretty good. On the other hand, if you’re a man, the relationship was doomed as soon as you ordered because you’re destined to be with ME as long as we both shall live.

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