Such a handsome boy, when he decides to dress up.

The Emmys’ Emmy nominations were on the TV today, and they are just baloney. Ech. Remember when Jonathan won those two Emmys?? I guess a broken clock’s right twice a lifetime. Ha! If those turkeys had a brain cell in their head, let me tell you what they would’ve done –

BEST ACTOR – Jonathan Cryer, obviously. – Two and a Half Men

BEST WRITING ON A SHOW – Jon Cryer, he got a credit for the story on an episode! We were so pleased. Didn’t care for the episode personally. But he tries so hard. – Two and a Half Men

BEST ACTOR ON ANOTHER SHOW – He was on Hannah Montana not too long ago! Adorable. Just adorable. That poor girl, though. – Hannah Montana

DOESN’T EVERYONE STILL LOVE HIM FROM PRETTY IN PINK – Makes me weep every time, I swear to god. Beautiful. – Pretty in Pink

OH THAT’S A MOVIE – Nevermind. But he was so great. – Pretty in Pink

HE WAS GREAT IN THIS TV SHOW – He was on CSI!! I tell you, that is good TV. They get the killer, it’s a little sexy, what more do you want. – CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

BEST ACTOR THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON MAD MEN – People don’t think he can do sexy, but let me tell you! That boy can do sexy. That’ll embarrass him. Whatever, someone’s got to say it. He can stand up to the steam of that Jon Hamm, oof. – Mad Men

BEST OTHER ACTOR, RUNNER-UP OR SOMETHING – Jon Hamm still deserves something good. My god, that man can wear a suit. I’d listen to him read a Chinese take-out menu. – Jon Hamm

BEST SON – Ugh, you can’t do that. Though his brother Dan always makes it for the holidays, no excuses like “aw, her family is closer,” baloney. His sister Robin was the most masculine. Love ‘em all, though. What can you do. – The Cryer Family